Psychotherapy Oxted – Dr Kimberley Carter
Psychotherapist & Supervisor
Dr Kimberley Carter Psychodynamic Counsellor, Psychoanalytic Psychotherapist and Supervisor.
Searching for “Counselling Oxted” or “Psychotherapy Oxted”?
If you would like to discuss therapy please get in touch.
Taking the First Step
Recognising that you might benefit from some professional support isn’t always easy. You may have tried for a long time to make changes on your own, only to find the same issues keep happening over and over. The first step is finding a therapist you feel comfortable with — someone you can trust to share your thoughts and feelings with.
Therapy can bring up strong emotions, both familiar and new. Feeling supported as you explore what lies beneath the surface can help you make sense of patterns that may have been shaping your life without you realising. Understanding the roots of your distress can be deeply freeing, leading to real change in how you think, feel, and relate to others.
Breaking recent or long standing harmful patterns increases self-worth, and improves relationships. And it all begins with taking that first step.
About Me
My personal journey in therapy started with an experience of counselling that felt very wrong on many levels. I believed that there had to be better therapeutic experiences. I also knew what I did not want, and felt that qualifications and training were key. I went onto work with an excellent psychotherapist, who was warm, knowledgeable and deeply compassionate. They not only nurtured my internal psychological injuries, but also taught me how to be the therapist I wanted to become. I have a lot to thank them for.
My desire for change took me on a long journey of study, from counselling studies, to psychotherapy training, and eventually a doctorate, all alongside continuing my own frequent therapy. Sitting in the client’s chair for so long gave me a deep understanding of the therapeutic journey. I like to think it helped me earn my place in the therapist’s chair today, and now I want to help others on their journey.
I’ve been working as a therapist for over 25 years with individuals and couples, and I also supervise other therapists and trainees. Over the years I’ve worked in the NHS, in the drug and alcohol field, and in managing counselling services — each role deepening my understanding of the many ways people struggle and recover.
I’m registered with the UKCP (United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy), the EAP (European Association of Psychotherapists), and the BAPPS (British Association for Psychoanalytic and Psychodynamic Supervisors).
If you’re finding life difficult right now — whether it’s something from your past or something happening in the present — therapy can help you make sense of things and find new ways forward. I would like to support you on that journey.
How I Work
I offer both online and in-person sessions to individuals, couples, and supervisees. Many clients and supervisees choose to work online because it’s convenient and flexible, while others prefer to meet face-to-face — whichever feels right for you is absolutely fine.
My approach is psychodynamic / psychoanalytic, which means I help people explore how their past experiences — especially early ones — might be influencing how they feel and behave today.
Both approaches share the same foundation: to help bring unconscious thoughts and feelings into awareness, so they can be understood and worked through. We all have feelings we push away — sometimes through denial, anger, or other defences — because they’re painful to face. Therapy offers a safe space to gently explore these feelings and understand what lies beneath them.
Although I am analytically trained my working style is relaxed, and focussed on the nature of the interactions with clients, rather than fixed beliefs or theory. Clients know their own experiences better than anyone and I am merely there to help them make sense of whatever they are struggling with. Sensitively helping them make connections to experiences & beliefs (both recent & past), and onto a better understanding of themselves and their world.
I offer counselling sessions via…
… and in person at my therapy room in Oxted
Specialisms
As a Psychoanalytic Psychotherapist I am qualified to work with all kinds of issues that clients present with, but I have a special interest in some additional areas: Twin relationships / Adoption / & Boarding School Experiences
TWINS
Non twins usually have very specific ideas of what they believe a twin relationship is like ie extremely close and loving, which is often far from the reality of how many twins perceive their relationships. But not all twin relationships are equal, as opposite sex twins will not struggle with the same issues that identical twins experience merely because they look different. ID twins have nearly the same genetic make up. Making them unique in humans and unique in the world of twins. They are non twins’ ‘twin fantasy’ as they are identical / or near identical in appearance and mannerisms, consequently Identical twins will have the most complicated relationships. But all twins will face identity challenges, as they are the same developmental age, unlike ordinary siblings.
Twins were one of two from the beginning so they will have unique struggles in their relationships. They may try to recreate the twin closeness in friendships and with partners, usually with little success. Twins can experience rejection and abandonment when the other (non twin) refuses (albeit unconsciously ) to engage in this dynamic. I do wonder if it is ever possible for Id Twins to be truly an individual because of this, whether they remain in each others lives or are estranged. The other is always there, if not physically present.
Parenting twins is also a complicated business, as these parents have to manage issues that are unique to the twin relationship, alongside the physical & emotional demands of having two children of the same development age:
- Envy or competitiveness in the twin relationship
- Difficulties with relationships outside the twinship
- Separation difficulties
I work with twins, or parents of twins, living in different locations around the world via Zoom.
ADOPTION
People that have been adopted (adoptees) usually struggle with identity, loneliness, and can experience strong feelings of rejection and abandonment throughout their lives. Therapy is helpful in working working through these issues. Feelings of never being good enough can be linked back to the early abandonment. There are additional complexities for twins, whether adopted together or separately.
If you are affected by any of the issues above, please get in tough.
Further information can be found in the Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) section of the website.
Boarding School Experiences
For many years, children as young as seven — and sometimes even four — were sent away to boarding school. At an age when they most needed consistent care and emotional security, they were abruptly separated from their families and placed in environments that prized independence and self-reliance over emotional expression.
These early separations often left children struggling with feelings of loss, confusion, and abandonment. With no one to comfort or help them make sense of what had happened, many learned to suppress their emotions and to believe that their needs were unwelcome or unimportant. Over time, these defences became deeply ingrained, shaping how they related to others and to themselves in adulthood.
As adults, some come to therapy recognising the lingering impact of those early experiences. Others arrive seeking help for entirely different issues, only to discover — often unexpectedly — the buried pain of their boarding school years.
Counselling Oxted FAQs
What is psychodynamic counselling / psychoanalytic psychotherapy?
Many people will be new to the terms ‘psychodynamic counselling’ and ‘psychoanalytic psychotherapy’.. but both are talking therapies based on the theories and principles of psychoanalysis. Psychodynamic counselling is less focused on the client-therapist relationship, because it is equally focused on the client’s relationship with his or her external world. Psychodynamic counselling is usually shorter than psychoanalytic psychotherapy with respect to the frequency and number of sessions.
Psychoanalytic psychotherapy takes the counselling process further. The therapist will be actively listening to the client with a view to making connections between past and present, particularly with reference to experiences of loss and trauma in very early in life. There will be a focus on the relationship between the client and therapist, as feelings about past relationships will most likely be re-enacted within the therapeutic relationship, at a very unconscious level. It is the therapist’s job to help the client become aware of what is going on, both within the therapeutic relationship and externally.
Psychoanalytic therapy seeks to facilitate deep and lasting change within, and to contribute to overall psychological well-being. Its focus is on the conflicts that prevent people from succeeding rather than on advising on how to succeed, and to help understand and resolve the underlying dynamics which cause anxiety rather than giving techniques to control anxiety. The discovery of new and positive ways of dealing with long-standing emotional difficulties is the key to desired breakthroughs in behavioural change.
What are the differences between counselling & psychotherapy?
Counsellors are usually referred to as ‘counsellor’, and psychotherapists as ‘psychotherapist’ or ‘therapist’. The titles reflect the depth of, and length of, training. Some counsellors also refer to themselves as a psychotherapist, although they have not undertaken the additional training. At this point in time this misuse of title is not illegal, so when searching for professional help it is advisable to check out qualifications, with the necessary professional body.
Counsellors are qualified to work with clients once a week; however, an accredited psychoanalytic psychotherapist can usually work with clients more frequently.
What is the psychodynamic / psychoanalytic therapy contract ?
To begin, we will agree on a regular day or days each week to meet. I understand that life can sometimes get in the way, and there may be occasions when we need to find an alternative time—either for a single session or for a short period. While I may not always be able to accommodate changes due to existing commitments, I will do my best to be flexible whenever possible.
Invoices are issued at the end of each month, and I will always provide advance notice of any planned holidays.
It is standard professional practice to charge for missed sessions, including those you are unable to attend due to holidays or other commitments. The only exceptions are in rare and exceptional circumstances, such as sudden hospitalisation or similar emergencies.
A minimum of one month’s notice of ending therapy is usually expected from both sides. This allows us time to review our work together and bring the therapy to a thoughtful close.
How long does the process take?
There is no fixed timeline or predetermined process in therapy. Each person comes to therapy with their own unique reasons and goals, and my role is to support clients in making the most of our time together. Therapy concludes when clients feel ready — it’s entirely guided by their needs and sense of progress.
Goals can evolve throughout the process, sometimes extending the duration of therapy or increasing the frequency of sessions as deeper work begins. Quite simply, the more profound and lasting the desired change, the more time and commitment it will require.
Many people begin therapy with an understandable hope for quick results. However, meaningful change takes dedication and an openness to the process. There are no shortcuts — real transformation unfolds through time, trust, and patience. While the journey can be challenging, the outcomes are deeply rewarding and truly life-changing.
How much does it cost?
Across the profession worldwide, therapy costs are based on a therapist’s experience and qualifications. In line with this mine are a reflection of my training and experience.
They are discussed during the initial telephone call / email or the first meeting.
Will I benefit from psychodynamic therapy?
It’s actually quite common for therapy—whatever type it is—to uncover a whole mix of issues, some of which we might not have been aware of at all when we first started. As the process unfolds, people often find themselves discovering new layers of their feelings, thoughts, and behaviours that shed light on why they do what they do or feel how they feel.
If you’re someone who wants to understand yourself better and make real, lasting changes, talking things through with a psychodynamic therapist can be a powerful way to do that. Together, you can explore how past experiences and unconscious patterns might be shaping your present life, and gradually build a deeper sense of self-awareness and emotional freedom.
That said, it’s important to remember that this isn’t a quick fix. Therapy takes time, effort, and a genuine desire to grow. There may be moments when it feels tough or uncomfortable—but those moments are often where real change begins. With patience and commitment, the process can lead to a more authentic and fulfilling way of living.
Have you been in my position before?
Yes I have, and many years of frequent analysis. For me it is the bedrock of the profession. Anyone who qualifies as a counsellor or psychotherapist should have sufficient therapy themselves. When you are thinking of working with a therapist it is very important to ask about their own experience with therapy.. not the exact details but rather the length & intensity.
Comprehensive training requires a lengthy period of being the client. Sometimes people who have completed a counselling course will have spent a limited amount of time in therapy themselves. So check this out. Whereas someone who has undertaken a psychotherapy training will have been required to undertake personal analysis, lasting many years. A counsellor / psychotherapist should have been in their own therapy at the same frequency of sessions at which they are working with their clients. So someone who only had once a week therapy themselves is not qualified to see clients more than once a week.
It could be very damaging to work with a therapist who themselves has had very little personal therapy. So it is advisable to check this out, and research their training/qualifications. You have the right to ask, and if they are reluctant to be open with you about this, then it might be best to look for another therapist rather than end up feeling disappointed or worse further down the road.
What can I expect from the client/therapist relationship?
The therapeutic relationship is a professional one, focused entirely on your wellbeing. To maintain clear boundaries and ensure a safe space for therapy, your therapist will not have any personal or social relationship with you, your relatives, or your close friends outside of the therapy sessions.
What are the qualifications and professional requirements of psychoanalytic psychotherapists?
Choosing a Psychoanalytic Psychotherapist or Psychodynamic Counsellor
Psychoanalytic psychotherapists should have completed their training with an organisation that is a member of the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) or the British Psychoanalytic Council (BPC), and they should be registered with one of these professional bodies. You can find more information about the standards of the UKCP and BPC by following the links above.
As part of good professional practice, psychotherapists are expected to engage in ongoing supervision of their clinical work and to maintain their professional development through regular participation in seminars, workshops, and other training opportunities.
A reputable therapist will be open about their training, registration status, and professional experience, and will clearly state which professional body they are affiliated with.
Psychodynamic counsellors, by contrast, undertake a shorter period of training than psychoanalytic psychotherapists and are usually accredited by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP).
What does supervision involve?
All qualified therapists should be in regular and ongoing supervision of their practice.
The purpose of supervision is to increase knowledge to support the therapist and protect the client. It involves a series of ongoing meetings where the therapist regularly consults a senior colleague or a group of peer colleagues to discuss professional experiences.
Clients are not identified by name or personal details in the supervision process which protects their anonymity and confidentiality.
Do you prescribe drugs?
The therapist will never prescribe drugs or pharmaceutically advise the client in any manner, formally or informally.
What about confidentiality?
Confidentiality
Our conversations are treated with the utmost confidentiality and will not be discussed with anyone except my supervisor. However, there are exceptional circumstances where confidentiality may need to be broken. These include situations where you express uncontrollable suicidal intentions or actions, or disclose information about activities that are causing, or could cause, harm to another person — for example, the abuse of a child or active plans to harm another adult.
If such a situation were to arise, I would make every effort to support you in sharing this information with the appropriate professional or authority. If this is not possible, I would inform you before contacting another professional myself, and I would explain the reasons for doing so.
It is important to recognise the distinction between thoughts or feelings and actions. Only where there is a reasonable likelihood of harmful action would any breach of confidentiality be considered.
NOTE: There are various different therapy approaches available, but the Q&As above only relate to psychodynamic counselling and psychoanalytic psychotherapy.
What to Expect
Our first meeting is called a consultation. It’s a chance for us both to get a sense of whether working together feels like the right fit. The consultation is a little longer than a regular session, as there’s often quite a lot to talk about. We’ll explore what’s brought you to therapy or supervision, what you hope to gain, and I’ll ask some questions about your background to help me get a fuller picture of you and your experiences.
The consultation fee is paid in advance. If we decide to continue, we’ll agree on a regular weekly time that suits us both. I’ll also explain some of the practicalities, such as invoicing and missed sessions.
For supervisees, the consultation has a similar structure, but we’ll focus more on your training, experience, and supervision needs.
Individual therapy and supervision sessions last 50 minutes, and couple therapy sessions are 60 minutes. My working hours are Monday to Thursday, 8:30 am – 7:00 pm.
You can find more details in the FAQ section of this website.
Fees
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Consultation: £120 for individuals and supervisees | £160 for couples
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Ongoing fees for therapy or supervision are discussed during the consultation.
Counselling Oxted – Dr Kimberley Carter’s Professional Qualifications & Memberships
Counselling Qualifications
- Doctorate (Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy)
- Masters (Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy)
- Diploma in Clinical Supervision
Professional Psychotherapy Memberships
- Member of UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) – Registration No. 05157121
- Member of European Association of Psychotherapy (EAP)
- Member of British Association of Psychoanalytic & Psychodynamic Supervision (BAPPS)
Other Related Qualifications
- Certificate in Psychodynamic Counselling
- Postgraduate Diploma in Psychodynamic Counselling
- Postgraduate Diploma in Psychotherapy Studies
- Certificate in Time-Limited Psychodynamic Counselling
- Certificate in Stress Management
Psychotherapy Links
For Counselling Oxted Contact Me
Dr Kimberley Carter
Barrow Green Road
Oxted
RH8 0NJ