Boarding School Experiences

For many years, children as young as seven — and sometimes even four — were sent away to boarding school. At an age when they most needed consistent care and emotional security, they were abruptly separated from their families and placed in environments that prized independence and self-reliance over emotional expression.

These early separations often left children struggling with feelings of loss, confusion, and abandonment. With no one to comfort or help them make sense of what had happened, many learned to suppress their emotions and to believe that their needs were unwelcome or unimportant. Over time, these defences became deeply ingrained, shaping how they related to others and to themselves in adulthood.

As adults, some come to therapy recognising the lingering impact of those early experiences. Others arrive seeking help for entirely different issues, only to discover — often unexpectedly — the buried pain of their boarding school years.