Twin relationships are often idealised from the outside, yet many twins quietly struggle with the emotional intensity of their bond. In psychodynamic psychotherapy, it becomes clear that twinship carries its own internal language, history and unconscious expectations — all of which can shape how twins understand themselves and relate to others.

The Early Bond and the Difficulty of Separating

Growing up alongside a twin offers deep familiarity and comfort, but it can also make separation feel dangerous. When the twin’s presence has been a stabilising emotional anchor, distance may evoke feelings of uncertainty, anxiety or abandonment, but possibly relieve too. These early attachment experiences often reappear later in life when twins face transitions, disagreements or long periods apart.

Identity, Comparison and Silent Rivalries

A common theme for twins in therapy is the struggle to form a separate identity. Lifelong comparisons — even subtle ones — can leave one twin feeling overshadowed and the other feeling pressured to maintain a role they never chose. These early internal roles can shape confidence, decision-making and relationships well into adulthood.

When Distance Turns Into Estrangement

Estrangement between twins can feel especially painful, as though a part of the self has been lost. Moments of conflict or misunderstanding often awaken deeper emotional wounds formed in childhood. Psychodynamic therapy helps make sense of these reactions, creating space for understanding, repair and personal growth.

Moving Towards Healthier Connection

With sensitive therapeutic support, twins can begin to understand the emotional patterns that keep them stuck. Psychodynamic psychotherapy offers a reflective space to explore identity, separation, rivalry and longing. Sometimes the damage to the relationship is so profound that it is not possible to heal the relationship itself, but therapy can help reach acceptance of this. Although it may not be possible to reconnect with the twin, it could lead to improved relationships with others, especially partners, friends and children.